Lilith in 11th House: The Rebel Within the Collective

Lilith in the 11th house indicates difficulties in areas of life like friendships, networks, groups and tech. It also encompasses innovation, aspirations and the pursuit of wishes.

I think that this is one of the most challenging houses for the BML to be in because high quality friendships and supportive social networks are vital to every human’s safety and wellbeing. Our distant ancestors survived by relying on family, friends and the people in their village, tribe, or community for food, shelter, help with child rearing, knowledge and advice, and much more. 

Of course, today we have access to assistance from doctors, police, grocery stores, clothing stores and so on so life is easier for us than it was for our ancestors but if someone struggles to maintain social connections today, they will probably feel isolated and unhappy. So, having a healthy social life is still very important. I think it always will be for us humans no matter how advanced our species becomes.

As I mentioned earlier in this article, I believe that if you have this placement, you can change any negative stories around 11th house themes. Your experiences with them may never be perfect, but then nothing in life is. Improving the narrative could be done via therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), hypnosis, positive affirmations, mindfulness and meditation, as well as more esoteric methods such as EFT tapping and Spiritual Response Therapy.

You may also want to limit the negative influences in your social life, for example by distancing yourself from people or situations that reinforce negative beliefs. Making a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive and supportive people can help to lift the spirits generally and, if you believe in New Age spirituality, place you on a higher vibration so that you’ll attract better experiences.

Additionally, most of us mature as we age. Maturity usually includes having greater self-acceptance and being more at ease in all kinds of social settings. I have this placement and I’ve noticed that as I’ve aged, my outlook on life generally has improved. My views on friendships and social networks are much more positive, less idealistic, and I’m content with the friends I have. Groups are still a bit daunting but are no longer a huge issue — some people in them will like me, others won’t, and vice versa. I have come to accept that is normal. 

You may find that as you begin to heal your experiences and outlook on friends and social connections, you will attract nicer people generally. For years I worked on removing negative beliefs around self-worth, self-acceptance, and friendship formation and now, I experience much better, calmer friendships and social situations generally. I wish the same for you. 

A Closer Look at The Black Moon Lilith in Astrology

You probably know what the Lilith is, or else you wouldn’t be reading this but here’s some additional info. Although there are three different Liliths in the birth chart, when someone talks about the Lilith, more often than not, they are referring to the Black Moon Lilith (BML for short). This particular Lilith is not a celestial body like an asteroid. Rather, it is a mathematical point in the birth chart. It signifies the areas of life that are the most challenging and where the most shame is present.

You probably won’t find much written about it in printed astrology books, especially those published over a decade ago. Personally, I find this curious because it has been recognized as part of the birth chart since Babylonian times.

I believe that it’s beneficial for people to become fully aware of the areas of life that are under the BML. With enough inner work, including self-acceptance, healing can take place. As the Buddha once said, nothing is permanent. So whatever below applies to you remember that it can change. We are all more powerful than we think.

Confusing or Challenging Friendships

For one reason or another, you may find friendships difficult to sustain. You forge them easily enough, however, keeping them going strong for years is another matter. This could make you feel like you never really have enough suitable or good natured friends. Perhaps friends rarely meet your standards or they turn out to be disappointing somehow.

If you give a lot more than you receive in your friendships in an attempt to sustain them, this could make you eventually feel undervalued and frustrated.

I have this placement and I’ve experienced a lot of problems with my friendships in the past. However, now, in my late thirties, I care considerably less about them than I did a decade ago. I’m also content with my own company and with being disliked by some people because I’ve reached the conclusion that we all are! No one can be everyone’s cup of tea — even popular celebrities have their fair share of people who dislike them. 

In some isolated cases, some of these natives aren’t particularly fond of other people generally. Perhaps they were badly betrayed by people who they considered close to them in the past and learned to keep their distance in order to avoid being hurt again. So, as soon as someone says or does something they dislike, they’ll go cold. Other times, friendships may end suddenly without any obvious reasons.

Perhaps when you were growing up, you felt shamed of the friends you had if they were very different from the norm in some way. You may even have been ashamed of them at times if they stood out too much and attracted negative attention.

You may also be very individualistic and non-confirming. Yet, despite being so different, you may find it challenging to accept others who are very different from you, or you may only associate with others who share a similar mindset.

Group Dynamics and Networking

Group activities are probably not your favorite thing. Some people with this placement even fear having to do things in groups. You may frequently feel rejected by them for various reasons or become painfully self-conscious and worry about how you’re being perceived by everyone. 

At school, perhaps you experienced some form of bullying at or maybe the teachers behaved unfairly towards you. As adults, perhaps you clash with your colleagues at work. Maybe you have a pushy boss, coworkers or clients.

Because you’ve experienced so many challenges with others over the years, you may feel it’s impossible to be your authentic self, especially within your social networks like your neighbourhood. You may frequently feel pressed to put on a facade and pretend to be someone else; someone who you think is more likely to be accepted.

Sometimes, you expect to be alienated by different kinds of groups, even if in reality, some or all of the people within those groups like and accept you completely! In most cases, such a scenario would be down to having poor experiences in groups earlier on in life.

Networking, especially when forced on you, by a boss for example, is especially daunting for you. As sociable as you can be, being forced to network feels terribly awkward, inauthentic and unnatural. You’d rather just not do it unless it’s with people you already know and feel comfortable with.

In addition to not feeling like you always fit in easily, you may also feel embarrassed about wanting to become part of a community, no matter how normal the community may be. You could have been raised to be especially self-reliant and to dismiss help from others, including a community, so you could feel like you shouldn’t want it.

Some of you could feel criticised by others for being part of an unusual group, like a subculture. In my younger years, I was a goth, and later, a cyber-goth. My traditional family really didn’t like how differently I dressed or the people I hung out with, even though many of them were perfectly decent.

When you were young, you may have found yourself in a group with negative or devious people in it. Naivety, curiosity, or a sense of wanting to belong may have lead you to join such a group. 

Occasionally, you might come across as too individualistic to blend well with others. Or you may be unpredictable in social settings, or have unusual opinions. You may decide against cooperating with other group members in order to retain your individuality and not mindlessly follow everyone else. You may also turn against the group to protect yourself because you believe that they will turn against you first at some point. This may lead to you being expelled from the group.

As I said earlier, I have this placement. I found it really tough to consistently follow school rules as a kid. I felt so strongly that my free-will was being infringed upon and I rebelled hard against the authority of my teachers and principal, which upon reflection, was very Aquarian and Aquarius rules the 11th house. After turning up one morning with turquoise hair, I was expelled. I had totally defied their dress code by dyeing my hair, apparently. I also didn’t fit into to any particular group of friends. Instead, I had a few friends in different friendship groups who I got on with very well and felt authentic to me.

Aspirations and Goals

Being optimistic about your aspirations and goals may be a bit difficult for you because they rarely seem to come to fruition. This could cause you to feel frustrated and helpless. Some people with this placement feel as if the Universe is conspiring against them! Of course, this isn’t the case — the Universe just reflects our beliefs back to us. If we believe we are unworthy of our hopes and dreams, they won’t manifest because we aren’t in vibrational alignment with them.

Sharing your hopes and dreams with others isn’t something you enjoy doing unless it’s with someone who you consider trustworthy. Through years of experience, you’ve learned to keep them to yourself in certain situations to avoid being criticised or dismissed.

If you struggle to achieve your goals for one reason or another, it could be because they are too lofty for you right now. But that isn’t to say that they won’t be achievable at the right time, perhaps later on in life.

Technology and Innovation

Solace, friendships, and fun may be sought within online communities like those found on gaming platforms or in forums. You may be obsessed with tech and fantasise about living in a technologically advanced, sci-fi like future. But the closest you can currently get to it is by immersing yourself in virtual reality. While this is all well and good, it may result in real life connections being neglected.

Being a technophile, you might become immersed in an online relationship and be comfortable with keeping the romance alive online, much to the confusion of those who care about you. The romance may be with someone who is honest and matches their profile photos and description or it may be with a catfish. You won’t know until you meet them!

Hobbies and interests tend to be quite unusual with this placement, too. The mystical and supernatural absolutely fascinates you but you risk becoming consumed by them if you focus on them too much. To offer a personal example, I used to be interested in tarot and but I was spending far too much time doing tarot for myself and others. Though quiet mystical activities like tarot reading can be engaging and relaxing, I think it would be wise ro make sure they don’t take up too much of your time.

Positive Affirmations

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