Black Moon Lilith in 4th House: The Shadowed Sanctuary

Those with Lilith in the 4th may experience a turbulent domestic life — either during childhood or as an adult or both. If you have this placement, you may have experienced particularly troublesome issues with your primary caregiver, the family home, or others in the family home, or the home you currently reside in. You may have felt rejected by certain family members when you were young, so as an adult, you might find fitting into groups, including the wider world, a bit daunting.

Home Environment

Your domestic life may feel feel unsteady. You might dread spending too much time at home for various reasons including conflict with those you live with. Shame, as well as other negative emotions may have been instilled by family when you were growing up in the family home. Some people with this placement could have even been subjected to traumatic experiences at home, like the behavior of an alcoholic parent.

You could have been made to feel as if they didn’t deserve to have a home of your own or that you would never be able to afford one as an adult. I have a close friend with this placement who bought her first home aged forty four because her parents kept telling her she’d never be able successful enough to buy her own place. She thinks that had she been raised to believe in herself, she would have been able to buy a home earlier in life.

There may be some fear around losing your home, even if your fears are unfounded. Perhaps there’s a constant worry about keeping up with your mortgage or the rent. Maybe your roommate isn’t skilled at paying their share on time or they neglect to take care of the property. You may feel ashamed of your living circumstances if you don’t live in a very nice neighbourhood but this really shouldn’t be the case— many people are facing challenges due to the cost of living crisis that’s currently raging and affecting so many across the world.

You might prefer the comfort of your home because you don’t feel too safe in the world. You might enjoy engaging with others through the Internet which keeps them at a safe distance from the outside world. Running a business from home is a strong possibility here. For instance, you could be a freelancer, or run a retail business from home, and even have staff working with you.

Seeing as the 4th house is strongly associated with property, you may at some point experience issues with regard to real estate. For instance, you might not find the right home for yourself and your family for a long time. Or perhaps while you may live in a home that’s good enough, it’s not your ideal home or one that’s really enjoyable.

Private Space and Sanctuary

Some married men have “man caves” at home, but as far as I aware, the female equivalent doesn’t currently exist. Creating a space of your own that’s like a man cave, could might be thoroughly enjoyable. Having a sanctuary all of your own isn’t something to be ashamed of even if society still shames women for wanting time away from their kids and partner. I personally believe that the use of private spaces is beneficial for everyone, irrespective of gender, and especially for highly sensitive folk.

Family, Roots and Heritage

Although the 4th is associated with the mother, it’s also linked to the home and family members, inducing the father. One or both parents may also have been absent from the family home due to death, illness, or divorce. If this was the case for you, you may raised yourself to some degree, as well as any younger siblings.

Familial connections could feel challenging for you to maintain. The personalities, norms, values they hold could just be too different to your own and you may be seen as an outsider or “black sheep”. Ongoing disagreements and unresolved conflict can also be a source of contention between you.

If you experienced an unsteady upbringing, the idea of creating a family of your own may not sound too enticing. However, others may want to start a family as soon as possible in order to begin anew and create the family of their dreams. Of course, family can mean different things to different people. Some people can’t have children and others desire to remain childfree. In such cases, you may wish to just have good people around you.

The family tree could contain some unpleasant characters. Perhaps someone disciplined their children too hard, often started arguments with others, or they were just mean-spirited. Their behavior could have made you feel uncomfortable in some way, even if their behavior was totally out of your control.

Emotional Foundations

You may be a bit emotionally guarded. This could be because you felt betrayed by others close to you earlier in life. Or you may just be very sensitive and find it hard to open up to others.

A lot of us also carry ancestral trauma, no matter what our charts look like. So, even if you had a pleasant upbringing, you may still feel a little over sensitive and wary without being able to identify why. Since this house is linked to the family, including previous generations, you could be carrying quite a bit of ancestral baggage. It seems unkind to call it that, but in human terms, that’s all I can think of. If you think this could be the case, an energy healer could help you to clear it.

Ultimately, you’re a peaceful person who desires to live in calm surroundings where feel safe, secure and comfortable. If you have kids, this probably feels even more important as you’ll want them to feel properly cared for too.

Mother and Maternal Figures

Your relationship with your mother or primary caregiver could have been marked by numerous issues encompassing miscommunication, stark disparities in personalities, absence of support or emotional connection. She may have been traditional or conservative and in some cases, she may have made her son or daughter feel like they couldn’t be their true selves, especially if their lifestyle was very different. Of course, as we mature, our relationship with our mother or caregiver often changes for the better.

Endings and Beginnings

The 4th house is also known as the IC (Imum Coeli) in astrology. Translated, this literally means “bottom of the sky” and it signifies where we end up in life; our personal ending and all that that encompasses, including retirement. The BML in the 4th could indicate not experiencing an ideal retirement, or another issue in older years such as not having enough satisfying emotional connections with others. However, this may be a blessing in disguise; if you suspect a problem will arise in old age, you can use your free-will to change things well in advance as we all have the power to change or influence situations.

Changing the Story

I think that it’s possible to excel in all of the areas ruled by the natal Lilith. To use a personal example, I have BML in the 11th house. I faced difficulties with most of the themes associated with the 11th — mainly groups of people, and some major challenges with friendships. However, I worked through them with a therapist and pro energy healer and I now have mostly positive experiences in these areas of life. In fact, I now especially enjoy meeting and speaking to, groups of people, including strangers!

By healing the areas governed by the 4th house, you might begin to enjoy the areas it governs a great deal more. Being assertive and having strong boundaries with others can help to maintain the work carried out with regard to family. Starting anew with certain people can also be wonderful as we all need at least one good person in our lives.

About Black Moon Lilith in Astrology

The Black Moon Lilith (often abbreviated to BML), is usually what people are referring to when they talk about Lilith. It’s a point in space rather than a celestial body like an asteroid. However, there is an asteroid called Lilith and another one, Dark Moon Lilith, which is also a point in space.

Some astrologers place more emphasis on the BML than others. Personally, I see it as a useful tool because the house it’s in indicates the areas of life where one might encounter significant challenges. By becoming fully aware of these challenges, we can begin to address them and even heal them we choose.